She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
