She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Drunk is a universal language darling
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