everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need a burrito and a hug.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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