it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
