Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
