at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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