Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All the doctor said was why
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize