i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
