She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
