Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she smelled like a LAN party
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
