My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
