She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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