Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
