You made me cry and you don't even care
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
