How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize