Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
