Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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