you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
