Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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