Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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