Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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