I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
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don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.