Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid