Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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