OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.