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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You slow clapped the stripper last night.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it

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• (714): View more from California

  Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (347): View more from New York

  you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.

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