And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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