My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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