Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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