idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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