I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
