Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
