at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
