I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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