we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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