im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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