dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
