Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
