Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
