He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
