ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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