She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
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I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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