Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
