His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
