She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
