is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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