Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize