I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
