Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
