i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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