Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
