Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Randomize
