Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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