somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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