i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
