i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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