Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize