I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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