SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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