There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She even gives head with a lisp.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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