I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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