people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
