I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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