Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
