I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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