Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
