nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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