Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
