I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do vagina's smell?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
