I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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