she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
